You step on, you step off....
You step on slowly holding on to the counter, wall, chair, whatever is handy.....
You step on with one foot then slowly put down the other....
You squint your eyes shut tight...
Slowly open them and look apprehensively at the bathroom scale....
What will that number be today?
Will it cause you to smile, or maybe go on an eating binge or cry...
I hate to get on the scales.
I hate it so much so that when I go to the doctor I turn around backwards so I won't have to see that dreaded number.
This has been a struggle for me my whole life.
I remember when I was 10 going to a friends house and she always wanted us to compare our weight. I was never an overweight child - just not a super skinny child like my friend. She always made the comment, oh my gosh you weigh 10 pounds more than I do. This started my hatred of the bathroom scale.
I have been working on my aversion to the scale.
I have finally began to look at the scale as a way to track my health. There are no magic numbers. There is no number I am trying to achieve. I am trying to maintain a healthy weight.
Wow! I sound like I am so comfortable with my weight now....
I don't know if that will ever happen.
I have struggled with my weight my whole life.
My Mom put me on my first diet when I was in third grade. It was the KLB6 diet - I vividly remember thinking that maybe I can be as thin as my friend so when I went to her house next time she wouldn't think I was fat.
My Mom was trying to help me feel better about myself but this is something I will always remember.
I realized I needed to change me to be ok. No one cares how much I weigh except me.
I am not my weight.
I am not smarter or prettier when I weigh less.
I am the same person regardless of what that number is on the scale.
This is something I struggle with but I am working on becoming nicer to myself. We all fall into the habit of becoming our own worst enemy. We have to learn to like ourselves as we are. When we become our own best friend; we can start the process of healing, becoming happier and becoming healthier.
Smiles, Cat
